shawowz's Xanga

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 07:26:45 GMT

QUOTE (mjonson @ Nov 5 2008, 11:13 PM)

What was Carter that no one else sedin's have played with was ? BLACK .. im not racist, just logical, we need a colored guy, my theory, the sedin's can see them distinctly from the other players ... he stood out .. l

I completely agree.

Sedin-Sedin-Obama

Blinded by the light

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:15:57 GMT

Over the last few weeks, I have noticed so many hints that I'm doing something wrong. So I'll just say it right away - I am a very insensitive person. What a revelation. I thought that I knew people, that I was somehow socially advantaged to be able to read people and to be able to joke around using prior knowledge of the person (the better I know you, the funnier I can be). But no, people do not need to be funny. People need to be caring. And I'm not going to revert to the use of empathy in Pharmacy, where a conversation must not be considered an end in itself, but as a means to ensure optimal endpoints from drug therapy (gotta love "communication" textbook quotes).

Perhaps it started with reading about empathy and realizing that I am going to fail every single scenario I tested myself with. With recognizing my own tone of voice in some of the un-empathetic example responses. With completely missing my empathy cue during Pharmacy lab. With meeting Amanda on the ski trip and realizing how sensitivity opens up doors and leads to understanding. With lectures from a certain Pharmacy prof (who shall remain nameless) which were wonderfully entertaining - but which, at the end of the day, you wonder if he/she would have better engaged their audience if he/she was more encouraging rather than hawk-like. Which drew comparisons with my tutoring style of old. With finally realizing that all the odd looks people give me are not because of stuff that I do, but because of stuff that I say. And most importantly, with realizing how badly I treat people closest to me, as according to my current mood or whim.

Perhaps I should stop being so sarcastic. Perhaps I should stop continuously teasing Bing and instead listen to what he has to say. How much more meaningful will that be? Perhaps I should stop attacking people making a fool of themselves and appreciate the effort behind it. Perhaps I should stop making hasty decisions and realize that things are not always what they seem.

Suggestions are always welcome.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 17:55:06 GMT

sleep.

a crack of paled light
slipping between the curtains
falls on the dresser

gurgles of pipewater
proceeding dutifully to the
washroom

i stare at the ceiling
my bumps, my lovely lady bumps
and estimate how many there are

the baleful monotone of
the vindictive alarm
at the goddamn wrong time

sheep are too stinky
so macaroni, loose change, badminton birdies
counting by fives, of course

reviews how to do a prescription callback
where the tensor fasciae latte is
what glutamate looks like

i rehearse opening lines from
a dating website i Googled
on my stuffed white seal

an analysis of my watch
it loses one second every
two hours

flips through all
720 permutations of my
framed hockey posters

the tired loneliness settles
neighbour girl's light flicks off
i exhale on my ghostly reflection

shock
and i realize
i have just wasted the entire day

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 07:20:10 GMT

Stepping into the cold, cold dark
Waves of thought, what to do

Rebuilding the thick walls I need
To keep the bite away from frost
Warm enclaves independent of else

Stepping out of the dark, dark cold

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 03:44:16 GMT

Wernicke's aphasia

Saying is overrated. Intonation, expression, and charisma befuddle logic and twist minds to weak opinions more correctly termed "moods." Writing, on the other hand, is underrated. Subtlety, irony, and metaphors, if you forgive my unparallel structure, and my spelling then again, can convince subconciously but are grounded within the substance-containing text. Writing can be dissected for fact or absorbed for perspective. Somehow, the phrase "Einstein wrote" packs a certain authoritative punch that "Einstein says" lacks.

And how do we write? Five hundred hands move over their respective pads and write "simple columnar epithelium" in apathetic imitation of a shadow on the wall. We hunch over hunks of twisted metal and plastic to tap out "lol"s and "=)"s. In essence, we no longer write. We "communicate."

Useless writing reflects a wasted voice. We no longer care enough to elect a legitimately representative government. It is enough to deride decisions verbally, callously, and apathetically watch activists and political groups duke it out, verbally, callously, for economic and popular power.

A price on your head

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 05:40:24 GMT

After Bing Wei began a discussion of how so much of who we are is dependent on our inherited genes and environment, I started thinking about how commercialized knowledge and learning have become today. First off, definitions – knowledge I consider as both access to information itself as well as the ability to, colloquially, “put it together,” or integrate it. Learning incorporates this knowledge back into everyday experience to understand patterns, causes, associations, and to apply it even in slightly different situations.

The accessibility of knowledge has undoubtedly been commercialized to a great extent. I am sure that there is at least a weak to moderately strong positive association between knowledge and financial assets, and I might even dare to suggest a weak positive association between perceived intelligence and wealth as well. To illustrate this point, it is perhaps most effective to trace the development of two hypothetical people, with effectively equal genes but undergoing significantly different environments due solely to finances.

As a baby, money gets you everything important in the most important period of cognitive and motor development, the first five years of life. You can buy daycare, educational books and tools, and – contentiously – a caring family. A baby in a poorer family, on the other hand, will have poorer nutrition and health and may lack the educational experiences that are vital to developing personality and the somewhat stereotypical precocity. As a child grows up, money gets you not only educational supplies, such as quality lined paper or lead pencils, but also the good favour of a teacher that receives a gift other than chocolates and of your peers, whom you invite over for pizza and video games. I believe (and I stand corrected if otherwise) that the years of 5-9 are the most important in developing social skills and a sense of social standing and integration that lasts until Alzheimer’s strikes. If you look at, say, an Awana class for 8-year-olds and observe their social interactions, do you not think a discerning person would be able to pick out the leaders and loners five years down the road?

Maybe even more important to my case is the development of a joy for academic learning. Children in well-off families can afford to have newspaper subscriptions, Internet and television access, knowledgeable parents, and many other avenues from which to learn – not only facts and figures, but also thought processes and the big picture. Now of course, being well-off can be a distraction, but I can argue that at least money gives people the opportunity to learn, and also that natural selection will soon take any wealthy deviants out of their category.

Knowledge is expensive. Even driving to the library requires fuel, car insurance, and a parent with sufficient free time. Say we go beyond high school, beyond the expensive social things like dances and bubble tea trips, beyond the expensive scholarship applications that rely on expensive undertakings such as volunteering (working without pay), sports, art and music. How about university?

One of the most outrageous stories I have been told about UBC is who is able to pick up our university bursaries. Every year, individual faculties need to hand out their excess cash, so that their budget won’t get slashed the following year. Bursaries are a student-friendly way of doing so. Amazingly, a bunch of St. George’s graduates were selected – why? Because they can officially report coming from a family with no source of income. Make no mistake – our system can be easily abused. So much for UBC’s guarantee of admission regardless of financial status.

How about university courses and their assumption of educational resources and aptitude? If you are a financially struggling student, and say UBC is able to pick up your tuition tab, how do you pay for your textbooks, which in the Sciences is ~$500 minimum? How do you pay your student fees, which includes a ridiculous amount of money to those lazy REC people (don’t get me started), whichever undergraduate society you are unfortunate enough to belong to (how much money does SUS spend on their gorgeously bright Tshirts?), Translink, and the mandatory AMS health and dental plan? Let’s not even mention making sure you keep yourself healthy by eating right (which can be very, very expensive, especially due to the lack of Chinese grocery stores around campus), living close to campus or on residence, or having enough time to do your homework and study around your job that barely keeps you afloat your student loan? In Pharmacy, for example, we pay about $8500 tuition, almost $50 in student fees, and are almost (or are) obligated to join all of these organizations (CAPSI, College of Pharmacists of BC, BCPhA, CSHP, PhUS).

My point is that a significant amount of our knowledge economy is based on exactly what economies are like – supply versus demand. As demand for university schooling has increased, universities have been able to not only pick out the best, but also to charge more – and the second option seems best for the final accounting. Money buys you not just knowledge itself, but a status and a position to obtain it; for example, we can contrast the status of a “medical school-bound student,” who stereotypically comes from a private or a good public school, has international and local volunteer experience, is well-rounded, excels in school, and has been able to obtain a good understanding of our Canadian health care system, with the status of a “borderline student,” who stereotypically works a part-time or full-time job, has a student loan, commutes quite a distance to school every day in well-worn sneakers that welcome Vancouver rain in to meet your feet, and scribbles some illegible notes down from the back of a classroom before disappearing until the next class.

We are influenced by our environment. Money is an environmental factor. And by Aristotle’s logic, we are a function of money, which to me is somewhat unethical. Opportunities, whether to “represent” (whatever that means) your class in Student Council or to go volunteer in Mongolia, should remain independent of financial status and dependent on the person. You might say that the person himself or herself is not independent of money either; but I believe that a significant portion of this dependence is due to limited opportunities that are not available due to financial reasons.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 04:47:29 GMT

The following post was written primarily for Blog Action Day, October 15. Blogs around the world have joined forces to write about the environment. Please check out our Dollar Project blog, for more interesting articles and increase your knowledge of the world around you today! Better yet, give us an email at ubcdollarproject@gmail.com if you want to get involved.

This is what Science One gives you the tools to do:

One of the physics professors in the UBC Science One program, Dr. Chris Waltham, is very knowledgeable about the issues surrounding global warming, and he enlightened our class on the feasibility of using solar power to supply our energy needs. In light of the world’s ever-increasing population, energy consumption, and CO₂ pollution, it is clear that alternative and sustainable energy sources must be found. Here, based on Dr. Waltham’s lectures, we use a physical approach to demonstrate the feasibility of solar-generated electricity to supply British Columbia’s electricity needs. We will not worry about too many significant figures, as this is more of an order of magnitude calculation.

Solar power is dependent on radiation from the sun. The incoming solar electromagnetic radiation per unit area, known as the solar constant, is 1366W/m². (1) However, in Vancouver, this light does not impact the earth’s surface perpendicularly (have you ever seen the sun directly overhead?). Since we are at the 49th parallel, we need to multiply the solar constant by cos49° (since cos90°, at the equator, is 1 and cos0°, at the poles, is 0). Here, we are assuming that the tilt of the earth does not matter; ie. that it is mid-spring or mid-autumn.

In addition, not all of the solar energy hits the earth surface. The albedo of the earth, which is the amount of reflectivity due to the atmosphere and the earth’s surface, is about 30%. (2) Thus, the maximum solar insolation in Vancouver (ie. at noon) is about 290 W/m² (amount of solar power supplied per unit area on the earth’s surface).

Next, we need to calculate the solar energy supplied during an entire day. We will model this as a sinusoidal graph of solar insolation (power per unit area) vs. time (seconds), with a period of a day (86,400 s) and an amplitude of 290 W/m² (the maximum solar insolation). The positive area represents the energy delivered during a day, and integration gives us 7.9 MJ/m² in a day.

However, not all of this solar energy is translated directly to electrical power. The efficiency of solar cells is about 15%, (3) reducing our electrical energy possible to 1.2 MJ/m². Now, in 2003, British Columbia consumed 200,000 TJ (a terajoule = 10¹² J) of primary electricity and 992,000 TJ of primary energy.

To supply all of the primary electricity, we would need 465 km² of solar cells. That’s a lot of solar cells – until we consider the area of British Columbia is 945,000 km². Now of course, I could have made a calculation mistake or neglected to consider something, such as the fact that Vancouver is on the lower extreme of British Columbia and that solar insolation decreases going further north. More importantly, however, having such a vast area of solar cells would enhance the greenhouse gas effect, as the black surfaces of solar cells absorb heat in addition to light. Furthermore, not many countries or provinces are blessed with such a low population to area ratio as British Columbia, and 465 square kilometers would be too extensive.

However, the point of this calculation is a proof of concept, and not to demonstrate exact numbers or how it would work in every situation. Clearly, different alternatives will work better for different population densities, climates, and energy needs. But solar power is definitely a feasible alternative, and the technology to do it already exists. The only prohibitive thing is the cost, which is definitely in the billions.

References:
(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_radiation
(2) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albedo
(3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_power
(4) Statistics Canada. http://www.statcan.ca/cgi-bin/downpub/listpub.cgi?catno=11-621-MIE2005023

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 06:19:31 GMT

"Everything is in a story."

To sit down and type

Let's have a hero, no, a protagonist, embark on the journey that he must, in search of... a heroine who... fishes. Gasping, gutted, all for a dangling lure with a tasty treat that was never yours. And out of your disembodied eye, clouding up and screaming silently for a palatable reason, you see your body crackling merrily, fuel in anticipation of someone else's white wine and dining a girl. And karma has it you are reborn, wings, drumsticks, and breast fillet stuffed with fermented apocrine secretion intended for a calf intended for veal. Your neighbours, la shot-up corn tortilla, whose life's ambition is to be a medical doctor, and leafy lettuce glistening with the snot of the fat girl who picked it. Your purpose on a plate. He and she staring across the tension, the pale surface of, again, fermented plant progeny, and the knife across your neck of a drumstick stick. And you should smile because it could be you... one day. Except of course, to me you are either a piece of lettuce or a blurry image that can be deciphered if you know the refractive index of glaucomic vitreous humour.

And the great thing about a story is that, unexplained, it remains entirely your own. All the better, to keep emotion and passion and raw hope and all those things made of fluff locked as text.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 19:56:03 GMT

It’s been a very interesting week…

Thursday Sept. 27:

Horrendous day. Woke up almost late for class. Then came Chem 235 and my recrystallization lab. I had about four jets of water all sprayed at me from different sinks as other people made various mistakes with their tubes and water systems. I wasted about an hour and a half trying to get my sample to work, and lost most of my crystals in a hot filtration that clearly wasn’t hot enough and had Norit sprinkled adequately through my sample. Then I blew a rubber tube – explosion that turned a lot of heads and drenched me even further. Jonathan, the rather verbose and somewhat insensitive equipment manager, decided to come up and give me a talk. As I explained, I already knew what he was going to say next… “You know, just because a hot plate is off doesn’t mean it’s not hot.” Then he told me that he was going to take my tube as an example to other students. “Is that okay?” I don’t know. At that point I was so disgusted with myself, now I’m being singled out for my stupidity. I figured out how to use the mop. Then at Big Brother/Big Sister night I managed to miss out on the pizza despite arriving on time. It was fun though and I met up with my Big Sister Kayleen, who’s in second year and gave us really good advice.

Friday Sept. 28:

So probably most of you have already endured my endless rant about STAT 203… but this class in particular just got to me. Mike (the prof) told us that if we put two numbers next to each other in brackets – it means multiply. The same day I had tutorial and Pesto (the TA whose proper name we apparently are too dumb to be able to pronounce) made sure we were able to calculate the only thing we’ve been taught, the z-score. Uuh…

Decided not to go home for the weekend. Too busy for that…

Saturday Sept. 29:

The Day of the Longboat! I woke up at a reasonable hour and dressed in Tshirt, waterproof pants, and a light zip up. Thankfully, despite being rather cold, it wasn’t raining and the water wasn’t choppy at all. We were all pimping our “The Pill Paddlers” shirts which matched the other first-year pharmacy team, “PhRx” (which is rather more imaginative and is pronounced “freaks”). At the start, we were already relegated to last place – the other teams pushed their longboats into us and basically drove us off to the left, making our right turn unnecessarily wide. We went right back into it though with some hard paddling and by the time we got to the baton area, they were just leaving so we were close behind. Unfortunately, my team didn’t aim the longboat so well, and we broadsided with the beach way too far away from land. And lucky me is going to get the baton. So I swam for it. It was so funny… I had to swim to be able to touch my feet to the sand, my teammates are either laughing or groaning, and the REC people are screaming at my team to get the longboat closer for me.

By the time I (and a few litres of salt water) was back on the boat, the other teams were at least halfway towards the second buoy. Again some hard paddling (and Nancy’s “powers”) served us well, and we were able to take advantage of a jumble between the three boats ahead of us. The third-year pharmacy team went off course and took a wide left turn, but we snuck in and made a perfectly sharp left turn. This was the most exhilarating part – they caught up and we semi collided… we went nose-to-nose for a while paddling as hard as we could. They aimed for the wrong buoy while we drifted off in the opposite direction, but in the end our excellent steering got us around the third buoy and then to the finish – second last place, but we worked so hard for it!

We decided to skip our repechage (sp?), which is our second race since we obviously lost (our time was about 15:15). Which turned out to be a pretty good decision since they cancelled the last races anyways due to a gale warning (in the last race, 4 out of 9 boats capsized).

Sunday September 30

Since I didn’t have longboat anymore… enjoyed volleyball (my first taste in so long!!) – our first game of the season. Our roster that day consisted of me, Joey, Myles, Irfan, Laz, Sam, Sally, her friend Katrina, and my Pharmacy friend Tzu (I think I’m missing someone). Despite losing both games, we fought back to play both tiebreakers and in both games we were actually playing teams with an unfair gender ratio. We played actually really well – the other guys didn’t miss a beat and our girls chipped in crucial shots and serves. Although, somewhat ironically considering our CAPS case involves a type II ankle sprain, I tweaked a ligament in my right foot and hobbled for the next day and a half. Tons of fun.

Monday October 1

After an afternoon off due to no physiology lab, had a Dollar Project mtg that showed me how much we need to get done to get noticed. But the upside is that there’s plenty to improve on. Right after, I went to the annual Pharmacy Career Fair. Gosh. SO MUCH FREE STUFF. I won a gift basket with the randomest stuff in it, including mustard sauce, Kicking Horse coffee and Giggling Goat Olive Oil soap. I have a list of things that I picked up as well…

10 pens from Pharmasave, BCPhA, Shoppers, Save-on, Providence Health Care, BC Provincial government, Walmart (a Post-it pen), and Medicine Shoppe
a Post-it note dispenser from Walmart
3 hand sanitizers from Rexall
Smoked salmon pate can from BC government
notebooks from Health Match BC, Medicine Shoppe, and Save-on
1 pedometer from Health Match BC
green tea bags from Save on
a stretchy key chain from Coastal Health
a mini first aid kit from Save on
3 tote bags
1 battery-powered light from Save on

I think the Pharmacy profession is swimming in too much money. I mean, these freebies are ridiculous compared to other fairs that I’ve been to. So many of our events that CAPSI and PhUS are sponsored by drug manufacturers who are trying to get their names embedded in the heads of us future pharmacists. It’s pretty aggressive marketing, and if it pays off it scares me a little to think about how much they earn. The guest speaker that night spoke of $150 million startup funds that he puts together for scientists that have “good science” with a strong potential for drug development. The costs are astronomical.

Tuesday October 2

I skipped the Heart Club Annual General Meeting (I still feel bad) for a Anatomy study group (our midterm is Friday). It was really fun and I practiced frying my Korean beef with soy sprouts. Mango and yogourt is delicious. I have a pretty significant sweet tooth so I think it tasted good only because it was the sweet blueberry kind of yogourt.

Wednesday October 3

-Tertiary Literature Tutorial for CAPS which I actually found very helpful and somewhat interesting even, despite what other people think. I am beginning to learn about how much information there is out there about drugs, and why mistakes are so common… How much conflicting information is there? It’s pretty astounding, well, more overwhelming.

-Dance club, our first dance lesson with Murray. He’s a very enigmatic guy who yells “Stop!” very loudly and makes lots of jokes about dancing well to impress Grandma and all. “Inheritance comes to me…” lol. It was pretty fun except for the jive, since it was very fast and my shoes kept on slipping.

Thursday October 4

The day was mostly dominated by Anatomy stress, if not studying. I mean, I’m pretty studied out by that day, and can mostly repeat my notes word for word. It’s just a little frustrating how I have no chance on some of the questions, since I can only study what I have in my notes. But yeah. The Chem 233 midterm was that night as well and we had Tom Tang and Maria come over and hang out for a bit before their midterm. Also I studied Anatomy with Vince’s awesome spare questions, and discussed answers on MSN which was rather fragmented but very helpful once I took the time to do it. Go Pill Paddlers! Lol. I think it helped me raise my confidence and point out areas where I wasn’t necessarily as strong.

Friday October 5

I headed off to Statistics in the morning despite having an Anatomy midterm right after that. So many other people skipped. I get settled in the classroom and the fire bell rings. Uuh! We get waved to the sides by these rather aggressive policemen. One was Chinese and was making snide comments about how slow we moved away from a building that was very much intact (in fact, I’m typing this in LSK right now). Sighs. So I walked off with Rachel and Janice to the SUB for a delicious and healthy breakfast at A&W. Of all people, bump into my brother studying for Econ and we talk for a bit before I head for my midterm, which went reasonably well. Now all I have to do is catch up on my severely neglected Physiology, which I’m actually liking more and more since our lecturer, Barry Mason, is very engaging and knowledgeable. He hammers home the key points, which is important since it’s very easy to think you know the system – while you can’t contrast and compare different systems. So definitely a focus area. Some other places I need to focus on are PHAR 202 (I have a drug list to memorize – I honestly think us first year Pharmacy students have to memorize the most, out of all possible second year programs at UBC), PHAR 299 (a Case study course which is actually very time consuming), and PHAR 201 (well. Notice the trend. I suppose I’ve been neglecting my pharmacy courses).

HSSA Icebreaker – begins now! 15 people. =) (reduced to about 3 members and 8 execs...)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 04:24:26 GMT

August 31
So, the plan. What to do with my second year here at UBC?

Ironically enough, I'm a first-year again. I'm about to enter another Faculty that is small and close-knit, and I want to make a good impression and some good friends to carry me through the rest of school. I'm leaving Science, which has been a good friend to me for these last fourteen years of school, but in which I feel that I have only limited opportunity to succeed. I'm about to take courses like anatomy and pharmacy communication, none of which are my strengths, but all of which are highly relevant to my planned career. I'm also going to take the next step toward independence, namely living with five other people in a quad at Gage.

September 5
Perhaps an update? I've moved in to Gage already. It's exactly the same as two summers ago - good memories. I've managed to set up my room in a way that optimizes the geometry of my desk, bed, and dresser, such that I have sufficient room for my whiteboard. We've also been slowly but surely working out a way around the kitchen and how to organize and clean things and such. My roommates are Daniel (Korean exchange student), Myles, Matt, Gary, and Si Rim (all Science One)

I volunteered for Opening Day, we got lovely yellow T-shirts and I was stationed to help people move things at Robson in Vanier. We were literally carrying boxes and fridges to the fourth floors since there are no elevators. It came to a point where when someone said they lived on first, we sang Hallelujah. I also had lunch at Vanier cafe, where the prices have gone up yet again (when I thought that that was no longer possible). Totem's cafe is under construction so the Totem people are eating out of a movie tent though. $3 for breakfast, $5 for lunch, and $7 for dinner, all you can eat.

Between Saturday (Opening Day) and the starting of school yesterday, I fixed up my quad and bought groceries in between attending various Orientations things. I was at the ROAD booth for the Parent and Mature Students Orientation and we signed people up to get emailed about updates! Yay. We also had to go to Welcome Team training. On Monday night we had some Science One people over and it was great, except for the fact that the food wasn't all that good (my fault). We forgot our washed lettuce, couldn't bake the potatoes properly, and didn't have enough meat for most people's liking. lol.

Sept. 10

What can I say? I'm an angry person.

Sept. 22

So before I forget, I think I need to mention my initial reaction to being in Pharmacy now. It's very different. My anatomy and physiology courses are very intense biology and filled with equally intense third year Science students that are bound for med school. Although sometimes it can be very interesting, it depends on the prof - but I often feel very overwhelmed in such a large (500 seat) class. In my pharmacy courses, it's difficult in its own way. They are trying to hone our decision making skills - and so far I don't seem to be doing very well. It's no longer one of those things where if you justify your decision by BS, you can get a good mark. There is actually a correct decision. There's a lot of social science, a lot of lists of things to consider or a process to go through, a gazillion ackroyms and abbreviations for everything and its mother, and of course, things to memorize - latin abbreviations, common medical abbreviation, and the drug names.

I don't know. I seem to have more free time than other people... I walk into Joey's quad and it's like, silence, closed doors and all. You can feel the brains whirring away. Versus my quad where the boys are trying to get me to play Starcraft or talking about how vodka would go with watermelon juice. I feel a little out of it, as if I also belong stuck up in my room working on Physics, Chemistry, Biology, or Math. And the people I hang with now are (of course, no offense) but more disparate than in Science One where I felt the belonging. the Pharmacy guys are great and they constantly mention that we're the best faculty in UBC.. but I don't think it has anything on Science One. I mean, we were so comfortable with each other that we're now roommates.

To comment on Eric's suggestion, I don't think that I have better time management skills than anyone else. I just wasted about 5 hours today playing video games. But I think that I use my rather quick disposition to learn intelligently to speed through menial tasks. I mean, if you learn it once, then you don't need to learn it again. And not to be cocky here, right? Because me being somewhat smarter than most people necessarily means that I'm weaker in others, and everyone knows what a nice, kind, sexy guy I am. Haha. And other people exhibit their intelligence in different ways - Eric, for example, uses his to discern how other people are doing, and Charlene can do crosswords like *that.* To be honest I don't deserve much of the rep that I seem to have built up among Chinese parents of kids at Burnett. Hopefully that will die out soon. It is refreshing to be anonymous. Now of course, it is much more reassuring to my self-esteem if people know me - but I want them to know me for the right reasons. Anyways. I suppose this is long gone. I only have a bunch of plaques and such to remind me, and they're collecting dust.

In the meantime.. some of my closer friends know that my mind is very porous. I forget many things, including things that have just occurred or been mentioned. It might be a consequence of my ability to concentrate, which interestingly enough, is the skill of ignoring things rather than the skill of being extrasensory or something like that. But what I do remember are memories of bad social situations. It might be kind of funny to know that I do this, but I do. These flashbacks come in very vivid detail - in their essentials of course - and accompanied by chest pain and headache. Guaranteed way to feel like crap. *Jessica Schaap laughing (I'll withhold details) in the library*. *stuttering when talking to friends outside McDonalds (again details withheld)*. I wonder how much space - or how many synapses - are dedicated to remembering these things. By contrast, remembering fun things don't seem to happen nearly as frequently, nor do they have such an effect. At most, I'll laugh to myself. sighs.